Engaging with others

A couple things got me thinking about how we talk to others.

One, a friend posted something, involving politics and religion, something I disagree with. I didn't comment. Doing so, I felt, would have required more time and thought than I had to put into it. Others who also disagreed did comment, and without bothering to put care and thought into it (it seems to me). And what struck me was the pointlessness of their comments. They weren't going to change anyone's mind, or give them something to think about. It's a comment that would push away anyone who doesn't already agree. Including the person who posted. Which, why would you do that on a friends post? What's the point?

When we speak or write, especially on matters where there's a lot of disagreement or differing viewpoints, we really need to think about who we are talking to, speak to them, not at them. And, if replying to something, think about what was said. Engage. Dialogue.

On the other hand, sometimes you do have to stand up against false statements, putdowns, harshness, and such.

I got muted for a week recently in a Facebook group I'm in (for fans of an author I like). I'm not unhappy about it. Because, I know that, on my part, I was standing up for something. And I also understand how it made sense for the admin or moderator to just do that to everyone in the conversation, rather than pick apart who was at fault.

The person, in a discussion of a detail in the books (which don't have much religious content at all, but this bit was) made a comment saying Catholics differ from Christians in something. I said Catholics are Christians. She gave a half-hearted apology but didn't really get why she was wrong in her wording.

Speak up for the truth when appropriate. When someone's listening for whom what you say might make a difference. Speak up against attacks. In particular, to the person attacked,  in support (or just more generally, in their support). To the person who said it, if they might listen, in a way that's engages them, rather than making them feel attacked.

But be willing to not say anything at all. And be prepared to listen and think, and sometimes research, before you do say something.